Every day teaching low brass brings a good laugh. Buzzing lips into a big tube to make burpy noises is a good start. Every once in a while someone says something funny enough that I write it in my little notebook. Here's some actual quotes and conversations during lessons...
"A kid barfed in his trombone today. He had to go to the nurse"
"Will trombone playing help me eat corn on the cob?"
"I failed triumphantly on my piece this week"
"My valves work fine, unless I start playing"
"I used to play this piece great"
"My cheek is feeling slack"
"I feel as if someone has drugged my tongue"
"My throat hurts; I think it's because I ate some gum"
"I just ate 3 bags of Swedish fish"
"I know that song. Not like the back of my head, but I know it"
"I don't like the saxophone. It's too dramatic"
"The clarinet is a recorder in disguise"
"If our band did't have flutes, it would cut down the talking by 2/3"
"Flutes will be flutes"
"They just said on the news today that musicians have a lot of brains"
"I need to wake my ear up"
(adjusting sousaphone) "This horn is kinda abstract"
"Do I play the notes backwards when I repeat?"
"I think I'm running out of spit"
"I don't understand me"
"I thought a triplet was three people"
"I would need rock star lips to play that high"
Snippets of conversations with kids during lessons...
pvo: I'll bet you're pretty good at figuring out songs by ear on the tuba. Wanna try? student: No
pvo: How do you play louder on trombone? S: Get rid of my cold?
pvo: Ever hear the phrase "eye of the tiger"? S: Yes pvo: What does it mean? S: I don't know, I just heard it
S: I can blow air out of my eye, wanna see? pvo: No
pvo: How would you describe the style of this music? S: Difficult
pvo: So, what are you doing today after lessons? S: My mom's taking me to some state park thing
pvo: What was the piece we were doing last week? S: The Can-Can pvo: Great. How did it go? S: Baaaaaa ba ba ba ba baah baah (etc.)
pv0: It's ten minutes past your lesson time. Where are you coming from? S: Thspeech class
pvo: How do you know for sure if the note you're playing is a B-flat? S: I listen to the lights
S: I have poison ivy pvo: Do you know what poison ivy looks like? S: A rash
pvo: Did you have fun at your family reunion? S: Relatively (mutual eye roll)
pvo: What is TA KA TA KA TA KA TA? S: Hawaiian?
pvo: Where is 7th position? S: A little past the scuz line
pvo: What letter name is that note? S: B-flat natural?